Are monsters aware? Exploring the minds of domestic violence aggressor

We have a long track record of help available for domestic violence victims, helping them leave their situations, pointing out their trauma bound, accusing their lovers or parents as the oppressor and even calling some “weak” to stay in this viscious cycle. It’s widely understood that, leaving someone in your close proximity whom you spend a large amount of time with takes strong will and consistent community support (whether it’s online recovery group, helplines or offline social care system, friends or other family members).

However, in contrast, the available information for those oppressors are inequally scarse. Diving into specific forums gave me an alternative perspective into these aggressors’ mentality. Most of them show remorse, wanting to be helped, but don’t know where to start. They are often criticised by their immediate family members for what they have done, turned away by friends who know the couple, or in deep denial due to the fear of being exposed and not able to remain their perfect “outside” persona. It’s in my interest to dig deeper into the cause and family background of these aggresors, inhibited childhood with abusive parents, personality disorders, psychopathy (although they hide pretty well behind a flawless façade, resulting extra strength and effort for victims to be able to speak out), unhealed attachment bounds… to find clues on whether or not they actually feel bad, are there feasible programmes out there to help them manage their emotion and impulses, retrain their default reaction towards stress and guide them towards a higher life quality?

It may be offensive to some to draw this parallel, but when a pet puppy bites someone without being told off, it will grow to become a menacing-human-biting-dog in no time. Is it the dog’s fault that its default response to danger is attack, if it has never learnt any alternative? I believe the research focus should also allocate enough resources on developing methods to differenciate aggressors with or without remorse, and try to help those who are equally ashamed of their own behaviour but too scared to come forthe.

A book that is on my list: The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist's Notebook Bruce D. Perry, Maia Szalavitz

Freud's Psychoanalytic Theory of Attachment - Breastfeeding vs Sexual Intercourse?

Whilst writing my coursework for the Developmental Psychology module I’m studing, Freud’s theory caught my attention. According to Freud, babies become attached to their caregivers because of their association with gratifications, notably mother’s breast lead to feeding, this form of pleasure inducing oral stimulation leads to babies being attached to the mother herself as a source of oral gratification. Having not yet read a comprehensive volume of his work, I have only heard bits and pieces over the years in some hot topics. General attitude of modern day researchers discredit his theories with a lack of evidence base, but I want to speculate about a more known association with attachment due to the chemical compound released by our brain - oxytocin.

It’s widely accepted that women get attached to men more easily than vice versa, in a relationship when sex is involved. This is due to oxytocin chemical bound released during or shortly after intercourse, especially if organism is achieved. Similar scenarios include cuddling, hugging, intimate gestures, can also lead to the production of this “happy chemical”. In short, a woman can grow a deep attachment bound towards a man because of his penis. Can we draw parralel to a baby growing attachment to their mother because of her breast?

What is already known is that, from the provider (mother)’s perspective:

Oxytocin is released in response to breastfeeding to cause milk ejection, and to induce physiological changes to promote milk production and psychological adaptations to facilitate motherhood.

Uvnäs Moberg K, Ekström-Bergström A, Buckley S, Massarotti C, Pajalic Z, Luegmair K, Kotlowska A, Lengler L, Olza I, Grylka-Baeschlin S, Leahy-Warren P, Hadjigeorgiu E, Villarmea S, Dencker A. Maternal plasma levels of oxytocin during breastfeeding-A systematic review. PLoS One. 2020 Aug 5;15(8):e0235806. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0235806. PMID: 32756565; PMCID: PMC7406087. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7406087/

Could this effect cause similar outcome to the receiver?

Contributing factor:

Skin-to-skin contact

Oxytocin can be released by activation of several types of sensory nerves originating from the skin, nipples, gastrointestinal tract and urogenital tract. Light pressure, warmth and stroking contribute to oxytocin release caused by ‘pleasant’ or ‘non-noxious’ sensory stimulation of the skin.

Uvnäs-Moberg K., Petersson M.Role of oxytocin related effects in manual therapies. In: King H., Janig W., Pattersson M.M. (eds). The Science and Application of Manual Therapy. Amsterdam: Elsevier; 2011.

However, the oxytocin release that is induced by skin-to-skin contact does not occur in short pulses in the same way as oxytocin induced by sucking, but rather in a few protracted pulses. It is not associated with milk ejection, but may instead ‘prime’ the ensuing breastfeeding interaction.

Oxytocin effects in mothers and infants during breastfeeding

https://www.infantjournal.co.uk/pdf/inf_054_ers.pdf

Thoughts after EMDR Session

Today’s session worked slightly differently to the first one. Instead of staying on one particular moment, we worked through a few key moments in my memory assosiated with pain and ended up (surprisingly) unpacked a pandora box.

A memory heavily associated with fear, shame, (false) guilt, misunderstanding, anxiety triggering, turned out to linger not because I was afraid, but more because anger, resentment, annoyance were masked behind. These feelings come two ways, firstly towards myself for not being capable of self-defence or act out in said situations, secondly from an observer perspective towards the aggressor(s) for putting the younger me through such traumatic experience.

The untreated and unprocessed resentment sought an outlet through thrill seeking in teenage and adult life, and some early life gratification was shown by actively letting ants drown in water and watching their dying body struggle and deform as amusement.

Obsessive attention seeking behaviours were also quite frequented, which could have placed myswlf in danger or risky scenarios. However, they have almost all uniformly stopped at the threshold of the subject showing mutual interest or recipricating such attention. A connection of self-loathe, unwanted attention, quickly emerges. There was feeling of superiority in presence to my actions combined with feeling of inadaquacy of “not worthy of” it.

Early life head injury contributing to anti-social behaviour and murder

An interesting observation draws parallel to the Mary Bell case (11yo female serial killer in the UK) and Nannie Doss ( American serial killer responsible for the deaths of 11 people between 1927 and 1954).

Despite the obvious evidence of abuse suffered during the offenders’ childhood, a less talked about viewpoint is that they both suffered head injury.

Mary Bell

Mary Bell was dropped from 1st floor window by her mother at the age of around three (1960).

Here is my reply to a reddit discussion regarding this matter:

I immediately thought of this when I read about her early life but it's so rarely talked about - head trauma causing personality change: anxiety, anger, irritability, impulsive and risky behaviour - due to damages to the frontal lobe that controls morality and reasoning.

Personality change in post Traumatic Brain Injury occurs in 59.1% of patients

(reference needs to be checked)

A recent example I've heard of is Nannie Dose case where she was involved in a car accident in her childhood where she hit her head on a metal bar resulting many years of headaches, blackouts, depression (reference to be checked)

Nancy “Nannie Doss” Hazle

In addition to the physical injury that may have caused a “change” in personality or characteristics, it’s not to be missed that both offenders have excelling people skills. Mary Bell was described as an “intellegent, mannipulative” psychopathic child by psychiatrist Dr. Orton; whereas Nannie Doss masked her dark side behind a warm smile and friendly personality as she silently kill everyone around her (including her own blood).

Mary Bell was released at the age of 23 on account of good behaviour serving her life sentence in an institution, had a daughter and later granddaughter living under alias and jurisditory protection. If she was truely a mannipulative child psychopath, could she have really been “re-educated” back to a normal life? Was there ever suspicions of coersion where she could have mannipulated her parol staff? What are the measures in place to keep track of her on-going good conduct for the rest of her life?

Mary Bell at the age of 16

Mary Bell (circa 1980)

23/06/2026 21h00

To answer my own question regarding Mary Bell’s psychopathy and reinsertion into society, I am including the following response I have given in the student forum for my course content.

Hi @___

I second @___'s discussion around Mary Bell's psychopathy leaning towards Secondary.

In my notes, I highlighted her impulsive misconducts ('testing out' strangling after verbal threat), emotional outbursts (anger mode towards her classmate), as well as recklessness about keeping quiet of her crimes (bragged about her being a murderer, vandalising school with writings which may give away her identity).

Another detail which was rather perplexing to me is the fact that, she was released at the age of 23 and seem to have lead on a rather normal life. She is now a mother and grandmother, and have not commited further crimes. At first, I couldn't understand the jurisdictory decision of freeing her and allowing her to live under alias with protection for the rest of her life. I even suspected that she may have used mannipulative tactics to convince the authority. However, if her case was evaluated as a Secondary Psychopathy, it would make sense that a re-education programme in prison may have been sucessful.

Additive vs Non-Additive Genetic Variance - quick sum up

Additive Variance = The "Steady Nudge"

  • What it is: Tiny genetic effects that simply add up over time.

  • The Psychology: It dictates your baseline traits (like a natural tilt toward being introverted or smart).

  • How it develops: It actually gets stronger as you grow up. As you get more freedom, you naturally choose environments (hobbies, friends, jobs) that match your genetic tilt, making that original nudge even bigger.

Non-Additive Variance = The "Wild Card"

  • What it is: Unique combinations of genes that interact in unpredictable ways.

  • The Psychology: It explains sudden traits, extreme talents (like musical genius), or sudden mental health struggles that seem to come out of nowhere.

  • How it develops: It's the reason biological siblings can be total opposites. Because these complex genetic combinations get completely shuffled when a baby is made, you can't just predict the child's personality by averaging out the parents.

In short: Additive variance is why you slowly grow into your parents' traits. Non-Additive variance is why you are a completely unique individual.

The summary is built directly on foundation studies and major frameworks in behavioral genetics and developmental psychology.

The direct scientific sources for the key concepts used include:

1. For Additive Variance ($V_A$) & Increasing Influence with Age

The framework highlighting how additive genetic influence grows as a person creates their own environment stems from the concept of Active Gene-Environment Correlation ($rGE$).

  • Primary Reference: Plomin, R., DeFries, J. C., & Loehlin, J. C. (1977). Genotype-environment interaction and correlation in the analysis of human behavior. Psychological Bulletin, 84(2), 309–322.

  • Developmental Lifespan Focus: Plomin, R. (2014). Genotype–Environment Correlation in the Era of DNA. Behavior Genetics, 44, 439–444. (This foundational work documents how individuals use their autonomy to select, modify, and create environments correlated with their genetic propensities as they mature.)

2. For Non-Additive Variance & The "Wild Card" / Unique Traits

The idea that complex gene configurations create unique, non-linear psychological traits that do not easily "run in families" (explaining why siblings can be opposites or why genius/mental health issues spark suddenly) is known in psychology as Emergenesis.

  • Primary Reference: Lykken, D. T., McGue, M., Bouchard, T. J., & Tellegen, A. (1992). Emergenesis: Genetic traits that may not run in families. American Psychologist, 47(12), 1565–1577.

  • Focus: This landmark paper explains how non-additive genetic variance (epistasis and dominance) creates unique configural traits—like distinct personality quirks, creativity, or specific psychopathology—that are unique to the individual because the configuration is reshuffled during reproduction.

Prenatal androgen exposure in girls - gender related behaviour

An interesting topic I was previously unaware of.


CAH: genetic condition classic congenital adrenal hyperplasia, characterized by an enzymatic deficiency, typically in 21 hydroxylase, and this deficiency results in a reduced ability to produce cortisol.

girls with CAH showed reduced positive responses to information indicating that particular toy or object choices were appropriate for girls

Compared to other girls, they are less likely to play with toys typically chosen by girls and more likely to play with toys typically chosen by boys [9,10,29]. In addition, although most women with CAH have a female gender identity, they are more likely than other women to change to live as men, with about 1–2 in 100 doing so, compared to about 1 in tens of thousands in the general population [2,28,30,31]. In addition, girls and women with CAH report reduced satisfaction with the female gender role compared with other females [32,33], and girls with CAH have been found to have significantly reduced female-typical gender identity [34]. Given this reduced satisfaction with the female gender role and reduced female-typical gender identity, girls with CAH might be expected to show reduced self-socialization of gender-typical behaviour.


findings suggest that prenatal androgen exposure may influence subsequent gender-related behaviours, including object (toy) choices

Melissa Hines, Vickie Pasterski, Debra Spencer, Sharon Neufeld, Praveetha Patalay, Peter C. Hindmarsh, Ieuan A. Hughes, Carlo L. Acerini; Prenatal androgen exposure alters girls' responses to information indicating gender-appropriate behaviour. Philos Trans R Soc Lond B Biol Sci 19 February 2016; 371 (1688): 20150125. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2015.0125

How do you get exposed to androgens?

Individuals exposed to atypical concentrations of testosterone or other androgenic hormones prenatally, for example, because of genetic conditions or because their mothers were prescribed hormones during pregnancy

Hines M, Constantinescu M, Spencer D. Early androgen exposure and human gender development. Biol Sex Differ. 2015 Feb 26;6:3. doi: 10.1186/s13293-015-0022-1. PMID: 25745554; PMCID: PMC4350266.


Comparison between Autism and Narcissism

https://www.abtaba.com/blog/autism-and-narcissism

Similarities between Autism and Narcissism

Despite their differences, Autism and Narcissism share some similarities.

Rigidity

Both Autism and Narcissism may involve rigidity in thinking or behavior. People with Autism may become fixated on certain interests or routines, while people with Narcissism may have a rigid sense of self or beliefs.

Sensory Sensitivities

People with Autism may experience sensory sensitivities or interests, such as sensitivity to loud noises or fascination with certain textures. People with Narcissism may also have sensory sensitivities, such as an obsession with appearance or grooming.

Differences between Autism and Narcissism

The main differences between Autism and Narcissism lie in communication, social interactions, and empathy.

Communication

People with Autism may have difficulty with communication, both verbal and nonverbal. They may struggle to understand social cues, gestures, or tone of voice. In contrast, people with Narcissism may have excellent communication skills but may use language to manipulate or control others.

Social Interactions

People with Autism may struggle with social interactions and may have difficulty making friends or understanding social norms. They may also have a limited range of interests or repetitive behaviors. In contrast, people with Narcissism may have a superficial charm and may seek social status or attention.

Empathy

People with Autism may struggle with empathy or identifying the emotions of others. In contrast, people with Narcissism may lack empathy altogether.

Signs of Autism in Children

  • Delayed or absent speech

  • Difficulty with social interactions, such as making eye contact or responding appropriately to others

  • Repetitive behaviors or routines

  • Sensory sensitivities, such as reacting negatively to certain textures or sounds

  • Fixation on specific interests or topics

Signs of Autism in Adults

  • Difficulty with communication, including understanding sarcasm or nonverbal cues

  • Difficulty forming and maintaining relationships

  • Sensory sensitivities that may affect daily life

  • Repetitive behaviors, routines, or thoughts

Signs of Narcissism in Children

  • Exaggerated sense of self-importance or abilities

  • Lack of empathy towards others

  • Need for constant attention and admiration from others

  • Entitled attitude towards others and their needs

  • Using others to achieve their goals

Signs of Narcissism in Adults

  • An inflated sense of self-importance

  • Preoccupation with success, power, beauty or other physical attributes

  • A tendency to manipulate people for personal gain

  • A lack of empathy towards others

  • An obsessive need for admiration from others

Bold speculation - extreme creativity related to schizophrenia ?

I had this thought during the exhibition visit of surrealist artist Leonara Carrington. Grew up in England from a textile family with an irish mother and three brothers, she had an eventful life before even reaching the age of 30. Frequently moved around (In Paris, Florenze, Madrid, South of France in her youth…) meeting her then-lover-mentor Ernst and living through the WWII, fleeding to Spain where she was raped by soldiers finally resulted her being sent to psychological institution by her parent before escaping Europe and finally moving to Mexico where she spent a good part of the rest of her life.

No doubt the stressful life event and trauma would have caused her some psychological disturbances. But I noticed that she had shown a vivid picturestic imagination since early age. Her doodle book at the age of 10 was filled with fairytale monsters and mysterious creatures in stranger lands. Her watercolour paintings at the age of 15 showed a mixture of fictional characters that are human-like humanroids clearly distinguishable from “us”. One can certainly argue that she was heavily inspired by the likes of folklores, myths, tarot cards, religious stories, but to have these images and being able to reproduce them brings me the question of - whether or not she saw them in her head? Does this sound familiar to common symptoms of schizophrenia, notability, hallucinations?

Stretching far into my personal experience, the inspirational source of my own artworks are almost always coming from a ‘database’ of imageries pre-stored in my brain. They are randomly appearing like a projection into the ‘frontal’ part of my head as inspirations come. Drawing on a blank piece of paper is almost similar to the experience of tracing a shape or object or creature from an existing projection.

Le Bon Roi Dagobert (Elk Horn), 1948 © 2026 Estate of Leonora Carrington / ADAGP, Paris

How to differentiate early childhood depression with ADHD?

Refering to the content of Chapter 15 Developmental Psychology 2nd Edition, Leman. 2019.

Depression symptoms amongst young children (aged 3 or less) may show similar symptoms as of ADHD - anxiety, hyperactivity, loss of appetite, low weight, attention deficit. They are rarely properly diagnosed.

How to differentiate the two disorders and minimise misdiagnose?

Disclaimer - Header

This space is dedicated to random thoughts and bites that came along during my psychology-related study and researches. It’s important to note that the content here are not to be used for research purposes due to the lack of accredited evidence and sources.

Some ideas may be elaborated in future settings under clinical environments, after consent is approved. In all other cases, quoting content from this blog should be avoided or minimised, or with clear disclosure.